21 People Who Should Avoid Spelling Bees

I used to love spelling growing up, because it was a relatively easy class. All I had to do was memorize how the words were spelled and boom, my classmates thought I was smart — or at least they did, up until the fifth grade. Then everyone around me suddenly became unimpressed with my ability to spell meteorologist.

Critical thinking and problem-solving skills were not really my forte, however. So I suffered in math and classes that required more effort than simple spelling. Plus, I wasn’t all that good of a speller aloud, I had to write down the word and look at it to see if it “made sense” to me. So whatever “talent” I cultivated for spelling words correctly on the spot waned by the time middle school rolled along, and most of my friends didn’t even really view it as a talent, but rather, a nerdish ability that was ultimately pointless. As one classmate told me after I proudly stated aardvark begins with two a’s, “Who the heck cares? We could just check a dictionary for the right spelling anyway. Besides, computers now will tell you when you’re wrong.”

And even though he’s technically right, and I do agree that one’s ability to spell correctly isn’t a reliable way to measure their intelligence, I think even he would shake his head at some of the hilarious errors these people made.

1. The All Of Garden is a comprehensive botanical experience.

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2. I knew a guy named Hal A. Peenyo. Solid dude.

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3. When picking a restaurant for a date, don’t just consider the quality of the food, also think about the umbeyonce.

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4. The man was hit so hard that he didn’t pull through; he ultimately died of beaties.

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5. The Sergeant Animal persuaded me to pet them and give them snacks – then drop down and give them 20 push-ups.

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6. C-Jah, a reggae artist, had to be rushed to the hospital from the violent shaking he experienced while recording his new album.

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7. Mister Meaner and his spouse, Missus Hippie have been happily married for 30 years despite their different personalities.

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8. Once the duck has taken a firm grasp of the avocado in its feathers, it can then prop the quack then moley for the nart chose. You’ll be saying scone app the beef in no time!

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9. Susan was so dedicated to her prospective new employer, she vowed to funish her references should she get the position, to show how far she was willing to go.

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10. The home had Florida Ceiling windows, despite being located in Massachusetts.

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11. He spoke, or “habla” Gated, an Elven language hidden for centuries, with the fellow Tolkien nerds he met on his semester abroad to Argentina.

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12. The Thesaurus bakery + Grammar cafe sell delicious synonym rolls and metaphor cookies for sale.

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13. In Philadelphia, the famous Italian cheese is referred to as “Parma Jawn.”

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14. The amphibious pitcher celebrated his no-hitter by slinking into a nearby pond and feeding on moss.

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15. Although France is considered the language of love, millennials are flocking to porch of geese as the new romance-tongue.

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16. Matt went to the grocery story thinking he’d be able to buy linguini, but his inability to speak the local dialect sent him home empty-handed.

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17. Sandwich lovers everywhere were befuddled by the Westboro Baptist church’s disdain for the classic LGBT.

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18. The “for meal or…?” option left hungry student volunteers wondering if they should choose their promised lunch or the mystery option as compensation.

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19. Anti-Lizard-Rights protesters were extremely unhappy with the supreme court’s ruling on married iguanas.

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20. The Cupertino-based tech giant just released its latest piece of consumer technology: the Apple Hole Stery. What could it be?

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21. ‘Lack Toast and Tall Of Rent’ is a story of an infant who refuses to drink milk from a bottle unless it’s been tidily arranged.

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