Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy, and different people go about grieving differently.
It’s hard not to feel like life absolutely, positively, stinks when someone close to you dies. Food doesn’t taste the same. A beautiful day with perfect weather and a shining sun is a mockery. You could bury your face in a pillow and cry for hours and no one would hold it against you.
There are some people and families, however, that get through traumatic losses by injecting some levity into the situation or finding what’s hilarious. Heck, there are tons of movie scenes, some of them more lewd than others, that manage to turn funerals into key comedic moments.
But sometimes comedy in sad situations like this is unintentional, and is ultimately contingent on the reactions from the bereaved. Something that Twitter user Mitch Feltscheer and his family experienced on the day they attempted to scatter his grandmother’s ashes.
And everything, I mean everything, went wrong.
The hardest I’ve ever laughed in my entire life was a few years ago at my grandma’s ashes scattering ceremony. A Thread:
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
After his grandmother died, members of the family decided to do something nice: go to her favorite spot with her ashes, and individually scatter a bit of her remains in private.
Things seemed destined to go the comedic route from the very beginning though.
Or as my dad (who was inexplicably in charge of proceedings) described it “everyone grabs a placcy cup and a scoop of grandma and you can go chuck her wherever you want”.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
Since the spot was outdoors, and the natural enemy to any sediment or powdery-like material is wind, they know they were going to have a problem.
Grandma’s favourite spot by the way, was a clearing atop a headland overlooking beachside cliffs and like literally every other day ever, it was insanely windy up there.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
That day was particularly windy, and it turns out everyone was getting a bit closer to Grandma than they had hoped.
I’m talking borderline cyclonic, like, you couldn’t even crack open her urn without a bit of grandma escaping and flitting straight into the nearest cousin’s face.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
The romantically pensive, high-elevation, wind cliff sendoff of their grandmother really wasn’t working out, so they decided to shift gears and head down the cliff.
A new plan was quickly hatched. We’d somehow traverse the cliff face to get down to sea level where it would hopefully be less windy and dad would wade out a few metres and scatter her in the water as we’d watch. Easy.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
Which presented a new set of interesting challenges, and visuals.
After the task of getting a couple of 50 year-old aunties in heels down a steep path (fun!), we gathered in the winter sun and Dad hitched up his pants and awkwardly hobbled out into the sea.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
And then it looked like the worst was behind them.
Until they opened the urn.
Despite the setbacks so far, at this point it was looking like we’d actually salvaged the whole event and we held eachother and looked on as dad yelled back “HERE WE GO!” opening the urn to a sudden explosive gust of wind, ejecting grandma into the air like a firework.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
It was at that moment where Mitch and his siblings found comedy in the situation and the laughter began setting in, but they still managed to hold it back.
That’s when the jet-skiers came.
At this point my brothers and I are holding in laughter at the absolute scene going down in front of us when suddenly the unmistakeable sound of a jetski rounds the headland and two 20-somethings come gunning straight for where grandma is falling into the sea.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
Grandma’s remains got tore up by the loud machines, getting mixed with water and shooting up into the air.
They don’t just churn through grandmas ashes, they literally chuck a hard turn right in the middle of her, shooting grandma-soup up into the air. I’m pretty sure an aunty literally clutched her pearls.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
At this point there’s a combination of horror and hilarity that the Felstscheer family is experiencing.
My brothers and I are in physical agony trying not to laugh at this point, as dad comes ambling back to the shore to a dozen or so silent Feltscheers trying to comprehend what just happened.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
But there has to be a punchline to all of this. A simple, terse, in-the-moment comment that would set everyone off.
And Mitch’s Dad provided it.
Dad pauses and turns back to the sea. He puts his hands on his hips and with an utterly straight face sighs melancholically and says “Well. She always loved jetskis”.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
I mean how are you not going to burst out in laughter after all that?
And thats how I ended up sprawled on the sand on a Sunday morning, clutching my sides laughing as my dead grandma’s ashes get churned out the back of a jetski. FIN.
— Mitch Feltscheer (@mitchfel) May 29, 2018
People felt for Mitch and saw the hilarity in the situation.
OMG I’m crying! Absolutely hilarious. Rest well Grandma xx
— Ry Lisson (@RyLisson) May 29, 2018
Sorry for your loss but very happy for your grandma’s hilarious sendoff
— Thin-skinned & Prickly (@legendsoflucas) May 29, 2018
Some just hoped the rest of Mitch’s family saw it that way.
Fuck this is good. Rest of family see the funny side?
— Blake Johnson (@BlakeJohnson) May 29, 2018
I’d personally like to know that my loved ones, after I kick the bucket, will have a lot to celebrate and laugh about when I finally go.
