Let me be clear, feral hogs are a terrible nuisance and an invasive species in Texas that must be “managed.” And by managed, I mean eliminated as much as possible.
However, I recently learned the hunting designations for wild boars/ feral hogs, and my heart softened towards these critters ever so slightly. The names resemble their native European origin and are therefore hilariously cute.
Baby Wild Boars Are Called “Squeakers”
We love any onomatopoeia (how often do you get to use that word?), but when it’s applied to a baby animal, it’s rather precious.
Young Wild Boar Names Are Mundane And Majestic
A boar that is 10-12 months is a juvenile. Not very creative. However, a boar that is 2 years old is referred to as “pig of the sounder”, which sounds magnificent, even though “sounder” is just the collective noun for a group of wild hogs.
The Boar Name For Adults Nearly Makes Sense
A boar that is 3–5 years is referred to as Boar of the 4th/5th/6th year. That doesn’t exactly line up, but I’m guessing it like the way we refer to centurys- where the 18th century is the 1700s.
Old Boars Get Dignified Names, Kind Of
If you are a 6-year-old boar, you get called “Old Boar.” Rude. But if you make it to seven years or older as a wild hog, you get the designation Grand Old Boar, and presumably, there is a special club for you to read newspapers and sip your brandy in…