Editor’s note: This satirical story is 100% fake news. It is part of Xpress’ annual Humor Issue.
Opposition to UNC Asheville’s plan to destroy 45 acres of urban forest has resulted in its strongest alliance yet, and it’s all thanks to a familiar agricultural product.
In a not-at-all-shocking turn of events, marijuana has once again brought people together in chill and meaningful ways. But it’s the intergenerational bonding that will have you reaching for a box of tissues and calling the ghost of Barbara Walters.
Green thumbs unite
Our tale begins in late July, when 28 marijuana plants were discovered growing in a section of the university’s Millennium Campus. Whether a legit find, an elaborate hit job by UNCA to justify the forest clearing “to cut down on crime” or poor planning by the Hanger Hall School faculty, no one knows…