Editor’s note: This satirical story is 100% fake news. It is part of Xpress’ annual Humor Issue.
For years, intentionally ripped denim and faded flannels dominated Asheville’s fashion landscape, symbolizing a curated carelessness. The sloppy-chic aesthetic whispered, “I’m effortlessly undone, but in a way that cost my dad $118.”
But as with all trends that linger too long, the pendulum has swung. The city’s tastemakers have declared that distressed denim is passé, predictable and frankly, “something only Charlotte bankers still think is edgy.”…