As the caregiver of a spouse with irreversible dementia, I neglected to fully understand this advice: You can care for others best when you also care for yourself.
When my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s four years ago, I immediately went into protective mode. All I wanted was to do everything in my power to keep him safe, happy, comfortable and always feeling loved. And I was determined to keep him home for as long as I possibly could. This, I promised him in response to his tearful plea not to be placed in a care facility, away from me and the secure surroundings of home.
So, instead of diving deep into the extensive literature on Alzheimer’s, I worked with my husband on downsizing from a large home to a smaller residence and had meetings with our attorney and financial planners to review investments and update our trust. I also spent time investigating long-term care facilities, just in case. This took time and effort. It also served as a distraction from the fact that little by little, the love and comfort of my life was slowly disappearing…