The beauty of Alien Abduction Day (AAD) is that nobody really knows where it came from, much like the aliens themselves. One day, it just appeared. And if any state should fully embrace it, it’s Washington — because according to actual data , we are the second most UFO-obsessed state in the country. The almost-reigning champs of alien sightings, the undisputed near-leaders in wondering whether that light in the sky is something more.
So, how does one properly observe March 20, the day we acknowledge the possibility of being beamed up?
Step One: Get Yourself a Suit
Celebrating AAD properly means dressing the part. If you’re going to see an alien, at least try to look like a government agent, specifically, Fox Mulder or Dana Scully. Two hot, deeply committed federal employees who spent the ‘90s chasing down aliens, government conspiracies, and their own slow-burn attraction to each other.
Are you Agent Mulder, the clean-shavn believer who will absolutely ditch protocol if it means chasing a conspiracy, or are you Agent Scully, the skeptical genius who could perform an autopsy while looking flawless? Do you sigh every time a man tries to explain something to you that you definitely already know? Or do you hunger for something just beyond the edge of what we can prove?
Step Two: Make a Snack Offering
If they’re coming for us, the least we can do is leave something out. A peace offering, if you will. We suggest:…