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Throughout their long marriage, Hannah Newman* of Seattle has handled the couple’s social calendar. She makes friends easily and has a lot of them while her husband is less outgoing and more of a loner, and so she is also his main emotional confidant. When he retired, he was stressed out about transitioning to a life not dominated by work; he needed some friends but didn’t know how to make them. Newman ended up “setting him up” with the husbands of her book group members; they were looking for a fourth for their weekly pickleball game. She pushed him to accept their overture and though nervous, he eventually said yes—and gained three instant new friends.
“I do sometimes get annoyed when I am always the one planning things and I often wish he’d be more receptive or take more interest in our social life,” Newman says. “But in the grand scheme of things, while frustrating, it isn’t a deal-breaker. He is supportive in other ways and handles other responsibilities that I’d rather not tackle. It’s a trade-off.”…