BOULDER, CO — Local golden retriever Winston Barkley bravely sprinted across the house in an effort to save his mom from the horrifying ordeal of using the bathroom alone.
Despite being dead asleep on the couch and dreaming about rotisserie chicken, Winston suddenly sensed his human was in immediate danger of experiencing privacy.
“Not on my watch,” thought Winston as he launched off the cushions and thundered down the hallway. “Poor human. Going potty with no one staring intensely into their soul. What if they fall in? What if the toilet attacks? What if they need emotional support? HOLD ON. I’M COMING.”
According to sources, Winston has made it his personal mission to ensure his owner never faces any bathroom-related activity without supervision. Friends say he’s been this way ever since he was rescued from a local animal shelter and immediately bonded to his new mom, deciding that her safety and her bathroom privacy were now his full-time responsibility…