Charlottesville native Darnell Lamont Walker is a death doula whose debut book, Never Can Say Goodbye: The Life of a Death Doula and the Art of a Peaceful End, publishes on February 10. Equal parts memoir and death primer, the book shares stories from Walker’s work and offers guidance and perspective on topics from writing your own obituary and talking to kids about dying, to exploring what grief and rituals of loss may entail. Walker recently discussed some of the inspirations for his work.
C-VILLE: Your grandmother showed you the way into this work, as you describe in the book. How do you hope it helps prepare others to take up this calling?
Darnell Lamont Walker: I hope people see that they already have everything they need to do this work. When they see me listening, witnessing, advocating, sitting quietly, asking hard questions, or just staying when it would be easier to leave, I want them to recognize those capacities in themselves. This isn’t mystical work. It’s deeply human work. My grandmother didn’t have a title, but she knew how to be present, how to love someone through fear and uncertainty, how to grieve in real time…