SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking effort to reduce gun violence and increase reloading time to a full 90 seconds, Oregon lawmakers have passed a new bill that limits all private citizens to only single-shot muskets. Governor Tina Kotek signed the bill into law Tuesday while dramatically quoting Eminem: “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow.”
The new legislation, dubbed the “Flintlock Justice and Community Safety Act,” will require all Oregonians to surrender their modern firearms in exchange for a historically accurate, hand-loaded, black powder musket. Ammunition must be stored in a leather pouch, and gunpowder is only to be sold at designated state-run “Heritage Armories.”
“This law reflects our commitment to both public safety and 18th-century authenticity,” Kotek stated while posing with a musket she later admitted was “very heavy and kind of smells like fireworks.”…