Additional Coverage:
- Conversion therapy survivor still recovering from ‘life sentence’ of trauma as SCOTUS reverses ban (themirror.com)
Over two decades after surviving the traumatic ordeal of conversion therapy, Ryan M. Kendall has emerged as a passionate advocate against the very practice that once caused him profound harm.
Ryan’s journey began in his teenage years when his parents discovered a personal journal in which he had acknowledged his own homosexuality. This revelation led to years of conversion therapy, a series of sessions that inflicted deep psychological wounds. He recalls being locked in a basement by his father, forced to watch anti-gay videos while being told he would contract AIDS and die young.
“Now at 43, I feel I am only just starting to break free from the mental prison that conversion therapy created,” Ryan shared.
Conversion therapy, as defined by the Human Rights Campaign, is a harmful practice aimed at changing or suppressing LGBTQ identities. While earlier methods included physical abuse and electric shocks, today it often takes the form of talk therapy.
Despite overwhelming evidence of its dangers-including links to increased suicide risk-the practice remains legal in 17 states. Colorado, where Ryan underwent therapy, had enacted a ban in 2019, but a recent Supreme Court ruling struck down that law.
Raised as the “golden child” in a conservative evangelical family in Colorado Springs, Ryan was an obedient and curious youth with aspirations of becoming a paleontologist. His parents led what appeared to be a typical middle-to-upper-class life, yet their staunch beliefs made any discussion of homosexuality taboo.
When his father discovered Ryan’s locked journal, his world shattered overnight. The reaction was swift and severe, marked by intense anger and threats of eternal damnation.
After this confrontation, Ryan ran away for the first time, seeking refuge with a college student. However, without financial independence, he felt compelled to return home, where his parents forced him into conversion therapy.
The family enlisted the help of evangelical organizations and eventually connected with Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a prominent figure in reparative therapy.
For two years, Ryan endured emotionally abusive sessions designed to “bully” him into heterosexuality. Despite the pressure, Ryan knew his identity was unchangeable, and he attempted to confide in Nicolosi about the abuse at home-only to have the therapist encourage his parents’ punitive behavior.
The most harrowing moment came when his father locked him in the basement to watch homophobic videos, reinforcing the message that Ryan’s life was doomed. Fleeing again, Ryan found shelter with a supportive adult but was forced to maintain contact with his parents under duress, eventually leading to police involvement and his removal from the family home at age 16.
This upheaval marked a turning point but also ushered in years of instability, including substance abuse and homelessness. Ryan dropped out of high school but eventually earned his GED and later pursued higher education, graduating summa cum laude from Columbia University and completing law school at UCLA with a focus on public interest.
Ryan’s advocacy gained momentum when he testified against California’s Proposition 8, sharing his conversion therapy experience to support marriage equality. His testimony is credited with energizing efforts to ban conversion therapy nationwide. Today, he works in impact litigation in Los Angeles, focusing on minority rights and fighting against discriminatory measures like attempts to ban LGBTQ books.
Despite the personal toll, Ryan continues to speak out, recently testifying before the California Senate in support of legislation allowing survivors to seek compensation for the trauma endured. He emphasizes that conversion therapy leaves lasting scars, including complex relational trauma stemming from abuse by those meant to protect.
Ryan describes the Supreme Court’s recent decision to overturn Colorado’s conversion therapy ban as a significant setback, criticizing the majority’s dismissal of the harm caused. However, he remains hopeful, noting Colorado’s swift legislative response to preserve protections in a new, constitutionally compliant form.
“Someday society will reject this practice and truly value LGBTQ lives,” Ryan said. “Until then, conversion therapy will continue to cause devastating harm and perpetuate inequality.”
His message to LGBTQ youth is clear: “There is nothing wrong with who you are. Conversion therapy is a lie.” And fueled by that conviction, Ryan Kendall remains a tireless advocate dedicated to preventing others from suffering as he did.