A Toddler, Teacher, and Goleta City Council Member Walk Into a Gun Store

Though a sophomore at San Marcos, for some reason I can no longer recall, I was visiting my father in Central Texas on April 20, 1999. It was characteristically too hot to go outside that day, and if I did, there was little to do beyond exploring the arid landscape crawling with fire ants, rattlesnakes, and scorpions. That or shoot BB guns with the neighbor boys next door. Hard pass.

Instead, teenager that I was, I switched on the 300+ channels of cable to see if there was anything good on.

There wasn’t. But I got sucked into watching Britney Spears and Madonna’s latest on MTV anyway until Kurt Loder broke in to report on the unfolding situation in Columbine, Colorado…

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