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- My teen asked for a $28 phone case that she didn’t need. I used that as an opportunity to teach her about wants versus needs. (businessinsider.com)
Navigating the Wants and Needs with My Teen
Parenting teens presents a unique set of challenges. We strive to instill important life lessons, like financial literacy, while also maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship.
This balancing act was recently put to the test when my 13-year-old daughter requested a new phone case. Her current case was perfectly functional, but she wanted a new one simply because it was trendy.
While a $28 phone case isn’t a bank-breaker, I saw an opportunity for a valuable lesson.
Saying “no” can be difficult, especially when the request seems relatively minor. However, it’s not always about the money itself.
It’s about fostering critical thinking skills and helping our children differentiate between wants and needs. I recognized that my daughter’s desire for the phone case stemmed from a desire for something new and exciting, a common feeling, especially for teenagers.
It was crucial to acknowledge her feelings while also using this as a teachable moment.
Instead of a flat-out refusal, I initiated a conversation about financial priorities and smart spending habits. I explained the importance of prioritizing essential expenses, like school supplies and clothing, over impulse purchases. To help her understand, I shared my own occasional desire for something new and exciting, creating a connection and making her more receptive to my explanation.
We then explored alternative solutions together. We discussed the possibility of her earning money for the case through extra chores or using her allowance.
We also implemented the “24-hour rule,” encouraging her to wait a day before making non-essential purchases. This allows time for the initial excitement to subside and for a more thoughtful decision.
Finally, we looked into finding a similar phone case at a lower price or exploring second-hand options.
This approach proved successful. My daughter felt respected and understood, and I felt confident that I was guiding her toward responsible financial decision-making.
This incident sparked a broader effort to incorporate financial literacy into our daily lives. We now discuss family finances in age-appropriate ways, compare prices while grocery shopping, and involve the kids in larger purchase decisions.
They research options, compare costs, and learn the value of waiting for sales or deals. We’ve also introduced savings jars to encourage them to save for desired items, teaching them patience and the satisfaction of achieving financial goals.
The phone case incident became more than just a disagreement; it evolved into a valuable lesson about financial responsibility, empathy, and compromise. These are skills that will serve my daughter well beyond the latest trendy phone case.