SALEM, OR — In a glowing new report released this week, Oregon has proudly climbed to the #2 position in the nation’s highly competitive Most Expensive State To Be Broke rankings, closing the gap with longtime champion California.
“Oregon is showing real promise,” said lead economist Dana Bricksworth of the Institute for Economic Despair. “They’ve got the high rent, the housing shortages, the $9 kombucha, and even the smug artisan coffee scene. All the ingredients are there. They just need to keep pushing.”
The report praised Oregon’s meteoric rise over the past decade, citing impressive metrics such as:
- A median home price that now requires either a tech salary or six roommates.
- Rent prices that make recent college grads consider life in their parents’ tool shed.
- A booming tent market that realtors are now casually referring to as the “entry-level housing sector.”
“I used to laugh at California,” said one Portland resident while converting their Subaru into a studio apartment. “But now I realize we’re just a couple overpriced oat milk lattes away from catching up.”…