Additional Coverage:
- When my husband wanted to retire early, I agreed to do the same. But I hated retirement life, so I went back to work. (businessinsider.com)
Early Retirement Woes: A Tale of Two Mindsets
A recent webinar almost cost me $3,000, but thankfully, my marriage is worth more. This close call reminded me of the financial rollercoaster my husband, Dave, and I have been on since his early retirement.
We were once a dynamic entrepreneurial duo, running his accounting firm and my consulting business side-by-side. Lunch was our daily ritual, a time to share goals and celebrate wins. Money flowed freely, fueling both our businesses and our personal lives.
Dave, tired of the accounting grind, decided to retire at 55. Though I loved my work, I agreed to join him in retirement.
We embraced the experience wholeheartedly, moving to a remote mountain ranch complete with redwood trees, three dogs, peacocks, chickens, and even a horse for our daughter. Dave, a natural builder, created a whimsical paradise with a library, teepee, and a spa gazebo nestled among the trees.
He was living the dream.
Meanwhile, at 50, I found myself missing the intellectual stimulation of my consulting work. Trees, while beautiful, don’t make for engaging seminar participants. My frustration mounted.
One morning, Dave delivered a blow that shattered my peaceful retirement façade. “I’m getting rid of your training room chairs,” he announced while clearing out our former office.
The words hit me like a ton of bricks. My carefully constructed world crumbled.
Overcome with grief, I mourned the loss of my clients, my seminars, my network – everything except the endless trees surrounding our ranch.
Dave, taken aback, reminded me of our retirement agreement. I assured him I would honor it, but confessed my deep unhappiness at the prospect of abandoning my calling.
To my surprise, he suggested we move back to the city. Grateful for his understanding, we listed the ranch as a vacation rental and returned to urban life.
Back in the city, I resurrected my business, our daughter returned to school, and Dave continued to enjoy his retirement. However, his newfound freedom came with a shift in financial perspective.
While we were both working, money was less of a concern. Now, relying on Social Security, Dave became hyper-focused on saving and ensuring our financial security.
My renewed business ventures brought us head-to-head. Initially, Dave allowed me to tap into our retirement savings, but he soon put his foot down, sparking the first real fights of our marriage. Eventually, we reached a compromise: I would have full control over my current earnings, using a separate account for my business income and expenses, while he managed the rest of our finances as if we were both retired.
I’ve come to think of our arrangement like a kite and string – I’m the kite, soaring with my entrepreneurial pursuits, and he’s the string, grounding us with financial stability. It’s not always perfect, but it works for us.