Illinois: land of Lincoln, deep-dish pizza, and a legal code that occasionally reads like the blooper reel of a courtroom drama. While Chicago may be all business and skyscrapers, the state as a whole has some laws so oddly specific, you’d swear someone made them up during a Cubs rain delay. But nope—these are 100% real, 100% Illinois.
Table of Contents
1. It’s Illegal to Pee in Your Neighbor’s Mouth in Champaign
We wish this weren’t a thing that needed legislating—but apparently, it is. The city of Champaign makes it explicitly illegal, which suggests someone made a very poor decision.
2. No Ice Skating at the Riverside Pond in Moline in June or August
Because apparently someone just had to try. Even if it’s hot enough to melt your popsicle, Moline says don’t lace up those skates.
3. You Cannot Give a Dog Whiskey
Yes, Illinois law prohibits giving whiskey to dogs. Beer? Still a bad idea. Just stick with water—ruff rules are still rules.
4. It’s Illegal to Fish While Sitting on a Giraffe’s Neck
Listen, we’ve all had the urge to fish like royalty—but Illinois shuts that down quick. Giraffe-fishing is officially a no-go.
5. You May Not Have a “Smelly” Pet in Galesburg
Fido better freshen up. Galesburg has ordinances banning pets with “foul odors” from public areas. Eau de wet dog? Illegal.
6. Roaming Bees Must Be Reported
If you see a wild swarm of bees just chilling, the law says you’re required to report it. Call it the buzzness of the people.
7. It’s Illegal to Eat in a Burning Building in Chicago
Technically, you’re not allowed to have a snack while the place is going up in flames. So no s’mores at the scene, fire-foodies.
8. You Must Contact the Police Before Entering the City in an Automobile (Peoria)…