Additional Coverage:
- My husband and I adopted 4 kids. For Mother’s Day, we make sure to honor all of their moms. (businessinsider.com)
For Rachel Garlinghouse, Mother’s Day is a celebration of family – all of her family. As an adoptive mother of four, Garlinghouse recognizes the importance of honoring her children’s birth mothers, fostering an inclusive environment of love and respect.
Over seven years, Garlinghouse and her husband built their family through open adoption, arrangements that allow varying degrees of contact between adoptive and birth families. This can include everything from video chats and texting to visits and in-person communication. Like any relationship, Garlinghouse emphasizes the importance of healthy boundaries, clear expectations, and mutual respect.
Garlinghouse refutes the notion of competition between adoptive and birth mothers. She believes that the shared love for their children creates a powerful bond, enriching their lives.
Publicly, she corrects strangers who praise her family for adopting, emphasizing that they feel fortunate to be the children’s adoptive family. She holds her children’s birth mothers in high regard, protecting their stories and privacy.
A key aspect of their family life is open communication about adoption. Garlinghouse believes that empowering her children with information and access to their birth families fosters a healthy understanding of their identities. Secrecy, she feels, can lead to shame, so their home is a place of open dialogue and acceptance.
Mother’s Day in the Garlinghouse home is a unique celebration. Each child chooses a card for their birth mother, deciding whether to sign it themselves or leave it from Garlinghouse.
She understands the complexities of adoption and respects her children’s feelings about the holiday, allowing them to express their emotions freely. Garlinghouse embraces the shared celebration, recognizing the important roles both mothers play in her children’s lives.
This inclusive approach, she believes, creates a loving and supportive environment for her children to thrive.