Really? Someone stole an AED? Imagine you’re enjoying a sunny Southwest Florida day at your favorite park. Birds chirping, kids playing, life is good. Then boom — your chest tightens, vision blurs, and you collapse like a Florida lawn chair. This is where the AED (Automated External Defibrillator) comes in to save the day. That is… if some genius hasn’t stolen it and listed it on Facebook Marketplace like it’s a used lawnmower.
Yep, that’s exactly what 20-year-old Jace E. Johnson allegedly did. According to Gulf Coast News, this walking cautionary tale swiped AED units from Sugden Regional Park and East Naples Community Park — life-saving equipment, mind you — and tried flipping them online for $300 each.
AED Idiot:
Here’s where the story gets even more cartoonish: he actually posted photos of the AEDs with visible serial numbers. The same serial numbers reported missing from the parks. So not only was he allegedly stealing equipment meant to save lives, but he also made zero attempt to cover his tracks. This isn’t Ocean’s Eleven — it’s Florida Man with a Wi-Fi connection and no common sense.
Detectives, with the easiest police work of the year, reached out to Johnson pretending to be interested in recovering the devices. He agreed to meet and led them straight to his girlfriend’s house, where the AEDs were being stored like trophies of stupidity…