Additional Coverage:
- I have older parents and always worried they wouldn’t be here for milestones. However, I’ve realized there are benefits to their age, too. (businessinsider.com)
A Daughter’s Reflection: Growing Up with Older Parents
My parents were older than most when I came along. My mom was 39, my dad about to turn 40.
Their later-in-life parenthood stemmed from meeting later and prioritizing education. Initially, their age wasn’t something I noticed.
They were simply my parents – playmates, role models, the center of my world.
A casual playground chat in first grade changed things. Comparing family ages, a friend mentioned her 26-year-old mom and 40-something grandmother.
The realization hit me – my parents were older than some of my friends’ grandparents. This sparked an anxiety that lingered for years.
As I grew, so did my worries, especially the fear of losing my parents early. I’d lie awake calculating their ages at my future milestones – 50 when I was 10, 60 at my high school graduation, 70 at a hypothetical 30-year-old wedding. This math fueled my fear and made me feel isolated.
Subtle generational differences became apparent. While friends’ parents enjoyed ’80s pop, mine favored ’60s and ’70s classic rock.
Our living room record player spun Pink Floyd and Carole King, relics of their youth. I loved connecting with them through this music, even singing along to classic rock radio.
In high school, I gravitated toward friends with similarly aged parents. Sharing this unique experience created a sense of community. It helped me reframe my perspective; having older parents wasn’t a curse but a unique blessing.
As I navigated life’s milestones – graduation, career, marriage, and eventually, motherhood at 32 – I felt immense gratitude for my parents’ presence. I also learned that age isn’t everything. Witnessing friends lose parents of all ages underscored the fragility of life.
Today, my 70-something parents embrace grandparenthood. While a tinge of anxiety remains, I manage it through therapy, medication, and mindfulness. I still grapple with anticipatory grief, but I refuse to let it steal the joy of the present.
Sometimes, I tease them about their baby boomer quirks (like accidental 10-minute voicemails of grocery store ambience). But gratitude always wins – gratitude for the childhood they provided, for their unwavering support, for the lessons they continue to teach, and for their loving presence in my and my daughter’s life.
Even with creaky knees, they show up. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.
Everything has happened right on time.