Additional Coverage:
- My husband asked me to change my last name to his when we got married. Years later, he apologized. (businessinsider.com)
A Name Game No More: One Woman’s Journey Through the Last Name Labyrinth
When I got engaged, teasing my husband about our future last name became my favorite pastime. I’d suggest we both adopt something new and “cool,” a symbolic fresh start.
He, however, envisioned a different scenario – one where I took his decidedly less-cool, harder-to-spell last name: Nieslanik. His large, close-knit family, with their epic reunions and streets named after them, held tradition dear.
He felt strongly about continuing the family name.
Truthfully, I wasn’t overly attached to my last name at the time, Childs. But changing it to Nieslanik felt like a monumental shift, a rewriting of my identity.
Plus, the paperwork! The sheer bureaucratic slog of updating every single document felt daunting.
However, my husband’s feelings on the matter were clear, particularly since I had already changed my name once before after a brief early marriage. My maiden name was a tongue twister, and I was the only one in my family using it, so I’d happily adopted a simpler one.
He saw this previous change as a precedent, wondering why I wouldn’t do it again, this time for him.
Ultimately, I took his name. I used a service to streamline the paperwork nightmare, and life went on.
Now, years later, I’ve actually found some unexpected perks. My unusual last name makes me easily identifiable, a bonus for my writing career.
I share a name with my children, simplifying things there. And honestly, I’ve grown to appreciate the unique character of “Nieslanik.”
The story doesn’t end there, though. A few years ago, my husband, in a moment of self-reflection, apologized for essentially “making” me change my name.
He admitted his reasoning had been a bit silly and arbitrary. He even offered to let me change it back!
While the simplicity of “Childs” is tempting, I’ve grown accustomed to my current name. The paperwork mountain?
Not again unless we both change it to something entirely new. And this time, he’s handling the forms.