Is Your Friend a Bad Friend?

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Is it Time to End That Friendship? 7 Red Flags to Watch Out For

Friendships, like any relationship, have their ups and downs. Disagreements are normal, but sometimes, deeper issues signal that a friendship may be doing more harm than good. Clinical psychologist Miriam Kirmayer offers insights into recognizing these red flags.

1. The Spotlight Hogger: Healthy friendships are balanced. While occasional imbalances are natural, a friend who constantly dominates conversations, rarely asks about your life, and forgets important details about you might be an “energy vampire,” leaving you drained.

2. The “Brutally Honest” Critic: Constructive feedback is valuable, but constant negativity disguised as honesty is not.

True friends offer support and acceptance, not relentless criticism and put-downs, even if masked as jokes. If you feel pressured to change to meet their expectations, the friendship may be conditional and damaging.

3. The Feedback Hypocrite: Can they dish it out but not take it? A friend who becomes defensive or dismissive when you raise concerns, even gently, demonstrates a lack of reciprocity and may lead you to people-please to avoid conflict.

4. The MIA Texter: Maintaining a friendship requires effort from both sides.

If you’re always the one initiating contact, it can breed resentment and distrust. Healthy friendships involve a balanced exchange of reaching out.

5. The My-Way-or-the-Highway Friend: Respecting boundaries is crucial.

A true friend accepts your “no” without pressuring or shaming you. Disregarding your boundaries is a major red flag that can create distance.

6. The Constant Complainer: While some venting is normal, a friend who consistently badmouths others may create a negative atmosphere and raise concerns about their loyalty. Strong friendships offer more fulfilling ways to connect than shared negativity.

7. The Stuck-in-the-Past Friend: People change, and friendships should evolve too.

A friend who clings to a past version of you and fails to acknowledge your growth and life changes may be hindering your development. Embracing change and supporting each other’s journeys are essential for long-lasting friendships.

Ending a friendship is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary. While ghosting might be tempting, a direct conversation, even if difficult, is generally the most respectful approach.


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