Additional Coverage:
- When I dropped my son off at college and became an empty nester, I was hit with intense grief. It nearly broke me. (businessinsider.com)
A Mother’s Grief Resurfaces When Youngest Son Leaves for College
Dropping her son off at college unearthed a deep well of grief for a mother who had lost another son years before. While navigating the bittersweet transition of an emptying nest, she found herself confronting unresolved emotions connected to her previous loss.
The familiar anxieties of a parent sending their child off to college – Will he make friends? Will he keep up with his studies? – were compounded by a deeper, more profound sadness. The author, whose son Ethan had just embarked on his freshman year, found the empty nest triggered unresolved grief over the death of her son, Jake, 13 years prior.
The once-familiar routines of family life now felt jarringly different. The author describes crying at the sight of her son’s tidy room, cooking oversized meals for two, and instinctively buying snacks that sat uneaten.
She struggled to breathe amidst the silence and the absence of her son. The pain of Ethan’s departure became intertwined with the grief of Jake’s death, blurring the lines between past and present sorrow.
Although the author had actively honored Jake’s memory through visits to his gravesite, keepsakes, and a foundation established in his name, she realized that she had never fully processed the profound impact of his loss. The fresh wave of grief forced her to confront the reality that grief isn’t a linear process; it’s a complex, enduring companion.
On the 13th anniversary of Jake’s death, the author penned a heartfelt letter to her deceased son, acknowledging the intertwined nature of her grief. She wrote, “Getting used to the house without your brother nearly broke me…
It felt the same to me.” This cathartic act marked a turning point in her journey.
Today, the author views her grief not as a burden, but as a source of strength and connection to both of her sons. She embraces opportunities to talk about Jake and finds comfort in encountering others who share his name. As Ethan enters his junior year, the once-heavy Pandora’s box of grief has transformed into a cherished link to her sons, a testament to the enduring power of love and memory.