Additional Coverage:
- My husband and I chose to live in Washington, DC, based on job opportunities. I wish we’d chosen to live closer to family. (businessinsider.com)
DC Dreams and Family Dilemmas: A Personal Reflection
My husband and I, both law school graduates, chose to build our life together in Washington, DC. Drawn by the promise of abundant career opportunities, we put down roots, got married in 2002, and embarked on our professional journeys. Back then, prioritizing our careers over proximity to family felt like the right choice, especially as we planned to delay starting a family.
However, life had other plans. Our first child was born with multiple disabilities and complex medical needs.
My priorities shifted dramatically. Balancing a demanding career with the intensive care my daughter required proved impossible.
I transitioned from being a full-time attorney to working from home, piecing together part-time and freelance opportunities. Though a difficult decision, it allowed me to focus on my daughter’s needs.
While I yearned for the support of family, my husband’s thriving career provided much-needed stability, especially with the added expenses of raising a child with disabilities. We had also built a strong community of friends in DC, further anchoring us to the city. With each subsequent child, the idea of uprooting our lives and starting over seemed increasingly daunting.
Now, with my children ranging from 10 to 19 and my parents in their mid-70s, I sometimes question our decision. I realize my career path might have unfolded differently elsewhere, but the trade-off of having family close by feels more significant now.
We cherish our life in DC, and my children are happy, but I can’t help but wonder what they missed by not growing up surrounded by extended family. The infrequent visits due to the chaos of life leave a lingering sense of what could have been.
The challenges became even more apparent as my parents faced health issues. My father’s recent passing amplified my regret at not being able to be there more for him. Now, with my mother alone, my desire to be closer is stronger than ever.
While I know there’s no easy solution to bridge the distance, the lesson is clear: If I could rewind time, I would prioritize family proximity over career prospects. It’s a poignant realization, a reflection on the delicate balance between ambition and the enduring importance of family.