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Every parent knows the unique agony of stepping on a stray LEGO brick – a tiny plastic minefield waiting to ambush unsuspecting feet. It’s enough to make you wonder what toy designers were thinking.
But cast your mind back to the 1970s, a decade where “child safety” seemed more like a suggestion than a rule. In those wilder times, toys weren’t just a minor hazard; some were downright baffling in their potential for mayhem.
We’re taking a nostalgic, albeit slightly wincing, look at 10 toys from the ’70s that would send today’s safety regulators into a full-blown panic.
Clackers
Ah, Clackers. These rhythmic noisemakers, essentially two heavy acrylic balls on a string, were designed to be swung with gusto, clacking together with an ear-splitting thwack.
Popularized in the early ’70s, they were a parent’s nightmare long before they became a physical hazard. The fun, however, often ended abruptly when the balls shattered under intense clacking, sending sharp plastic shrapnel flying.
Hundreds of children reportedly ended up in emergency rooms with injuries, leading to their well-deserved discontinuation by 1976. Good riddance to bad clackers, we say!
Super Elastic Bubble Plastic
Imagine bubble gum, but instead of sweet flavor, it oozed hazardous chemicals. That was Super Elastic Bubble Plastic, a gooey concoction from 1970 that let kids blow giant, colorful plastic bubbles using a small straw.
The “trippy” colors might have been fun, but the fun stopped short when the fumes caused dizziness, headaches, and even chemical burns. Oh, and it was highly flammable – perfect for a decade of unsupervised backyard adventures!
Unsurprisingly, this chemical-laden craft kit was eventually pulled from shelves due to its rather obvious safety issues.
Lawn Darts a.k.a. “Jarts”
Backyard barbecues in the 1970s often featured “Jarts,” or Lawn Darts – essentially oversized, sharpened metal darts designed for children to hurl across the lawn. What could go wrong with kids wielding mini-spears?
Plenty, it turns out. These surprisingly aerodynamic projectiles were responsible for approximately 6,100 emergency room visits and, tragically, several deaths over a decade.
After years of turning innocent family gatherings into scenes reminiscent of a medieval skirmish, Lawn Darts were finally banned in 1988, marking the end of the era of “backyard extreme sports.”
Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher
Even science fiction toys weren’t safe from ’70s design flaws. The Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher was a spaceship designed to fire small plastic projectiles – a thrilling feature until it was discovered these missiles were perfectly sized to become lodged in a child’s throat.
After several alarming incidents, Mattel quickly recalled the toys, redesigning them to ensure the tiny missiles no longer posed a choking hazard. Good thinking, Mattel, good thinking.
Creepy Crawlers Thingmaker
The Creepy Crawlers Thingmaker, a ’60s invention that peaked in the ’70s, allowed children to craft their own rubbery insects by pouring liquid plastic into metal molds and then baking them at a scorching 390°F. What could possibly go wrong with a toy oven operating at nearly 400 degrees in the hands of a child?
Predictably, third-degree burns were a common consequence. After numerous reports of melted fingers and emergency room trips, Mattel wisely discontinued the oven-based version, proving that some crafts are best left to adults with proper safety equipment.
Johnny Reb Cannon
For those who thought backyard warfare needed a historical flair, there was the Johnny Reb Cannon. This toy allowed kids to fire plastic cannonballs with surprising accuracy – often straight at an opponent’s face.
While no formal recall was ever issued (it was the ’70s, after all, and kids apparently came with built-in hazard shields), the potential for black eyes, broken glasses, and chipped teeth eventually led parents to quietly retire this miniature artillery unit from playdates. Sometimes, the best safety measure is common sense.
Water Wiggle
Wham-O’s Water Wiggle seemed like innocent summer fun: a seven-foot plastic tube that thrashed wildly when attached to a garden hose, drenching anyone nearby. However, this “grinning serpent” hid a deadly secret.
If its bell-shaped head detached, it exposed a high-pressure aluminum nozzle that could whip around uncontrollably. Tragically, this led to the drowning deaths of two young children, one in 1975 and another in 1978, when the nozzle became lodged in their mouths.
This horrific flaw prompted the Consumer Product Safety Commission and Wham-O to issue a recall of 2.5 million units, making it one of the most stark reminders of ’70s toy hazards.
Dip-a-Flower
The Dip-a-Flower kit promised wholesome crafting, but delivered a dose of chemical exposure. Kids were instructed to twist wires into flower shapes, then dip them into a colorful, fast-drying resin.
The catch? The “colorful resin” was essentially a pool of chemical sludge that emitted strong, headache-inducing fumes.
With no warnings or masks provided, children were left to breathe in the noxious vapors while creating their floral masterpieces. While certainly creative, one wonders about the long-term impact on ’70s kids’ respiratory systems and sense of smell.
Disc-o-Punch
Rounding out our list of questionable ’70s fun is the Disc-o-Punch, a plastic “gun” that launched small, frisbee-like discs at surprising velocities. While it might sound innocuous, a well-aimed Disc-o-Punch missile could easily result in a painful welt, a black eye, or even a chipped tooth.
It was all fun and games until someone took a plastic disc to the face during an intense living room skirmish. Another prime example of ’70s toy manufacturing asking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”