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- Now that my kids are adults, I don’t plan our family trips anymore. I’m struggling with just being a guest with no say. (businessinsider.com)
No More Planning Panic: Local Mom Embraces New Role as Guest on Family Vacations
For years, many parents juggle the complex logistics of family getaways, transforming into master travel agents, tour guides, and peacekeepers all rolled into one. One local mom, who preferred to remain unnamed but shared her story, knows this all too well.
She spent years meticulously planning adventures across the U.S. and abroad, ensuring every detail was perfect for her growing family. But now, with all her children grown, she’s happily relinquished the travel reins, embracing a new role: the pampered guest.
Her journey as a family travel planner began when her three oldest sons were young. “We’ve traversed the country north to south and dipped our toes in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans,” she recounted.
From camping in the Adirondacks to skiing in New Hampshire and touring the nation’s capital, she orchestrated countless memorable experiences. A particularly vivid — and humorous — memory for her sons from their Washington, D.C., trip wasn’t the White House or Lincoln Memorial, but a meal at a combined KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut.
Perhaps her most ambitious undertaking was organizing a trip to France with her three young boys, then aged 7, 4, and 2. She navigated everything from tickets and passports to accommodations and airport transfers, opting for a pre-arranged ride over a daunting subway trek with three small children and luggage in a foreign city.
Instead of typical tourist rushes, they immersed themselves in Parisian culture, enjoying local parks, French toys, and exquisite food. She even shared a “what-was-I-thinking” moment, allowing her 7-year-old, who was learning French, to walk alone to a local patisserie for their daily baguette—a decision she now laughs about, despite keeping him in sight.
As her family expanded to five children, large-scale travels became less frequent. But with all her kids now adults, the dynamic has shifted dramatically. The responsibility of planning has gracefully transitioned to the next generation, a change she initially found “weird.”
A recent Christmas vacation to Vermont, orchestrated by her daughter-in-law, perfectly illustrates this new era. A spacious Airbnb in downtown Burlington was secured, airline tickets purchased, rental cars arranged, and reservations made for snowboarding lessons and trendy restaurant dinners. “All I had to do was show up,” she marveled.
Navigating this new role hasn’t been without its adjustments. After decades of being the primary organizer, the absence of duties felt strange, a poignant part of her transition from full-time mom.
Decisions were made, events planned, and meals prepared without her direct consultation. She was always welcome but never cajoled.
When she opted out of snowboarding lessons, she was simply left to enjoy her solitude. In those quiet moments alone in the house, “mom-mode” instinctively kicked in, leading her to tidy up, wash towels, and take out the trash.
However, it wasn’t long before she began to revel in her newfound freedom. The pressure to ensure everyone’s happiness, provide entertainment, or fill every moment vanished.
She could pick and choose her activities: a peaceful nap while others snowboarded, a stroll downtown instead of a brewery visit, or snuggling the baby during boisterous board games. “I loved every minute of it,” she confessed, free from guilt, recriminations, or stress.
While she’d happily take the lead if needed, she now recognizes that it’s no longer her sole responsibility. “Quite frankly, I’m not sure I can do as good a job as one of my kids anyway,” she humbly admitted. For this local mom, the greatest joy now lies in simply receiving the invitation, allowing her to show up and savor precious family time together, completely stress-free.