Additional Coverage:
- I rolled my eyes at my mom’s pre-wedding advice when I was 22. Two divorces later, I’m so glad I listened. (businessinsider.com)
A Mother’s Enduring Wisdom: Navigating Divorce with Financial Independence
Lucie Frost recounts a valuable lesson passed down from her mother, one that saved her from significant financial distress through two divorces: “Always keep your own credit and be able to take care of yourself.” What began as a skeptical adherence to parental advice ultimately became the bedrock of her financial security.
Frost, who became engaged in the 1980s at age 22, initially dismissed her mother’s warning, citing the recently enacted Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, which prohibited gender-based credit discrimination. However, her mother, who divorced in the 1960s, underscored the critical need for a steady job to secure credit, a lesson she learned firsthand when her credit card was revoked post-divorce and she faced obstacles obtaining a new one without a male co-signer. Resourceful, Frost’s mother secured her own credit by becoming a notary public and listing her occupation as “state official.”
Despite her initial doubts about her own marriage’s longevity, Frost followed her mother’s counsel. She asked her fiancé to sign a prenuptial agreement and pursued law school, driven by a desire for financial self-sufficiency.
This foresight proved invaluable. When her first marriage ended, the financial aspects of the divorce were significantly smoother, thanks to her independent financial standing and protected assets.
Frost observed the struggles of other women who lacked similar guidance. She saw stay-at-home mothers scrambling for employment upon suspecting marital strife, and others forced to relinquish homes awarded in divorce settlements due to unsustainable expenses without their ex-spouse’s income.
Even today, as two-income households become the norm, Frost believes her mother’s advice remains critically relevant. Research continues to suggest that traditional gender roles and existing gender inequality often leave women at a financial disadvantage following a divorce.
As a final, poignant piece of advice, Frost recalls her mother’s blunt suggestion before her second marriage: “Keep your name, so you don’t have to change it all the damn time.” It was another practical, albeit unfiltered, reminder of the importance of maintaining an independent identity amidst life’s unpredictable turns. For Frost, her mother’s wisdom transcended generations, providing a sturdy foundation for financial independence regardless of marital status.