All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.
Over 1,000 UW students were fined for underage drinking and fake ID possession last night after the Madison Police Department announced they would no longer conduct bar raids downtown.
“It was all too easy,” Madison Police Chief John Patterson said at a press conference earlier today. “Those dipshits fell for it hook, line and sinker.”…