Additional Coverage:
- Ben Stiller says splitting up and getting back together with his wife helped him be a ‘better parent’ (businessinsider.com)
Ben Stiller Reflects on Parenthood: “Impossible to Avoid Making the Mistakes They Made”
Hollywood actor Ben Stiller, 59, is opening up about the challenges of parenthood, admitting that while he aimed to avoid the pitfalls of his famous parents, comedians Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, he ultimately found it “impossible.”
In a recent interview, Stiller shared candid reflections on his own upbringing and how it has mirrored, and sometimes diverged from, his experiences raising his children, Ella and Quinlin, with wife Christine Taylor.
Stiller recounted a childhood where his parents’ demanding careers often meant long hours and extended absences, leaving him to “miss them terribly.” He admits to making similar missteps with his own kids, even quipping, “I probably messed up more with my kids than my parents did with us.”
One memorable anecdote involved casting his daughter in “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” only to cut her scene from the final film – a decision he now reflects on with some regret. His son, he notes, has even suggested that being a dad might not have been his top priority.
“Like any parent, I remember things that weren’t happy about my childhood and go, ‘I’ll do better,'” Stiller explained. “And then I realized it was impossible to avoid making the mistakes they made.
When they were young, I thought, ‘Oh, the kids are young, I can work away and be a good dad earning for the family.’ But the bonds you form with your kids when they’re young are so important.”
A significant turning point for Stiller was his brief separation from his wife Christine Taylor in 2017 before their reconciliation in 2020. He acknowledged that the split put a “strain” on his relationship with his children.
“I feel bad about what us breaking up did to the kids, but it was possibly the best thing to happen to Christine and me,” Stiller shared, emphasizing that the separation ultimately “changed” their relationship for the better. “We don’t take it for granted anymore, and if you are happy, you’re going to be a better parent.”
Recently, while promoting a new documentary about his parents, Stiller revealed that hearing his children’s perspectives for the film highlighted what he “got wrong” as a parent. “From their perspective, it was totally different,” he noted.
This isn’t the first time Stiller has been open about his parenting journey. In a 2022 interview, he recalled his daughter directly confronting him about “not being there” during her childhood. He concluded then that what children truly desire is “a parent who’s emotionally present and supportive of them.”