Yes, we know. We know!
None of it is real, this simulation of cider-worthy weather enveloping Tampa Bay like a silky cloth. Florida may indeed be experiencing what online jokesters have taken to calling false fall. Unreal autumn. An October error that will evaporate before we’ve broken out our single stale sweater.
Shh, baby doll, shut your precious piehole. Please don’t explain weather phenomena to us as if we are new around here, for we are battle-tested soldiers of sunburns and chafing…