Editor’s Note: This is a satire piece from The Collegian’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
Bikes and their riders are a common sight on the Colorado State University campus. The bike racks are always full, sometimes so full that people lock bikes onto other bikes. Almost everyone has a story of nearly being run over by a bike.
If you’re not a cyclist on campus, you may feel out of the loop. Being a pedestrian can feel ostracizing sometimes; you can’t get to class as quickly, and you might become a general nuisance to other pedestrians…