Editor’s note: The following column is satire.
Heroes venerated, enemies vanquished, the union preserved
Salutations, comrades. In another glorious month for our beloved Republic, Comrade First General Secretary Jeff Landry has presided over another triumph of patriotic virtue. Heroes of our beloved Union will be memorialized, counterrevolutionaries have been eradicated, the sacred right of the vote has been preserved for our fellow comrades and new studies from our state’s best institutions find our citizens’ drinking water may lead to longer life…