TOLEDO, OH—After the Toledo Truth Teller published a bombshell article, sources confirmed that absolutely no one was shaken by the finding that a local mattress store’s price-matching program is a scam.
The article, which was the result of an investigation by Ned Sampson and Mare Pritti, failed to ruffle any feathers despite being “the best thing the Truth Teller has published in years, except for maybe that very detailed ad from the lady trying to sell her couch,” according to Pritti.
Pritti and Sampson reportedly spent the afternoon at a local mattress store where an employee, who described them as having “very weird energy for a pair of scientists, which is what they said they were,” initially stonewalled them before disappearing into the back, allowing the journalists to call a mattress supplier from the employee’s phone and confirm that the store was being dishonest about its price match guarantee…