Additional Coverage:
- I gave birth to my baby, then I checked my work email. I thought I was in control, until I nearly lost myself. (businessinsider.com)
The Unvarnished Truth of Motherhood: Camille Seigle on Postpartum Realities
Local consultant and co-author, Camille Seigle, is shedding light on the often-unspoken challenges of the postpartum period, revealing a journey far more complex than the idealized visions of new motherhood. In an adapted excerpt from her new book, “Maternal Hope: Stories of Unseen Struggles, Unexpected Resilience, and the Untold Ways Families Are Made,” Seigle shares her intensely personal experience, urging a more honest conversation about what truly happens “after.”
Seigle, a consultant by profession, has long specialized in helping individuals and organizations realize their full potential. Now, she’s channeling that insight into a deeply personal narrative, co-authored with Ali Mann Stevens, born from their shared postpartum experiences.
Her story begins with a seemingly simple question: “Did you always want to be a mom?” While her initial instinct was to say yes, a moment of reflection with her 15-month-old daughter revealed a deeper truth. She had always envisioned being a mother but had never truly considered wanting to become one – a distinction that would profoundly shape her journey.
The Shock of “After”: A Disorienting Rebirth
When Seigle welcomed her daughter in January 2020, she anticipated common new-parent struggles like exhaustion and tears. What blindsided her was the profound disorientation that followed.
“The fog, the bleeding, the body that no longer felt like mine,” she recalls. Despite a healthy baby, a supportive husband, and a stable job, she felt “broken” internally.
The expected joy was elusive, replaced by a painful sense of detachment from herself.
“Postpartum is not just recovery,” Seigle emphasizes. “It’s rebirth – and it’s messy.” This sentiment underscores a crucial message she wishes more new mothers understood.
The Illusion of Control and the Pressure to “Do It All”
A self-described control enthusiast, Seigle found herself instinctively returning to work emails just two days after giving birth. What she rationalized as staying “connected” was, in hindsight, a desperate attempt to regain a sense of control and competence in a life that felt utterly new and overwhelming. Despite her boss’s encouragement to fully unplug, the fear of falling behind or becoming irrelevant was pervasive.
This drive, she now recognizes, reflects a broader societal pressure on working mothers in the U.S. to “do it all.” Years later, she wishes she had granted herself the grace to disconnect, lamenting that “work will always be there. You, on the other hand, won’t get those first fragile months back.”
The Unspoken Loneliness
The initial six weeks of motherhood felt like a relentless cycle of feeding, pumping, and cleaning. While friends inquired about the baby, Seigle noticed a stark absence of questions about her own well-being.
Her journal entries from that time paint a vivid picture of a woman unraveling: “I am tired. I feel alone.
I don’t know what I’m doing… How can you love someone so much and be so sad?”
She now recognizes the shame and fear that prevented her from seeking help, a silence often perpetuated by the “supermom” myth. “Motherhood isn’t meant to be done alone,” she asserts, highlighting how the idealized image keeps so many mothers “silent – and suffering.”
When Darkness Crept In
The onset of the pandemic coincided with Seigle’s six-week postpartum checkup. Despite articulating a myriad of contradictory feelings – grateful yet empty, lucky yet numb – she initially resisted her doctor’s suggestion to increase her anxiety medication and find a therapist. The fatigue was too profound to take “one more step toward fixing myself.”
Weeks later, the darkness deepened. A chilling moment on her upstairs deck, contemplating jumping, served as a stark wake-up call.
The immediate shame was crushing, yet it illuminated the insidious nature of postpartum depression, which convinces individuals they are both ungrateful and unworthy. It was her daughter’s cry that ultimately anchored her, a desperate wail cutting through the fog and reminding her she had “something – someone – to live for.”
This pivotal moment led her to therapy.
Reclaiming Herself: A New Version of Motherhood
Healing was a gradual process. Therapy helped Seigle understand that motherhood isn’t about losing oneself, but rather about “finding a new version of who you are.” She began accepting her husband’s help, taking short walks, journaling, and exercising not to “get her body back,” but to feel strong again.
Returning to work four months later, amidst the pandemic, brought its own challenges. A male colleague’s cheerful inquiry about her “vacation” underscored the profound disconnect between workplace culture and the realities of new motherhood. “I wanted to scream,” Seigle recalls, having spent those months learning to breastfeed while bleeding through her clothes.
Finding Hope in Unfiltered Truth
Reflecting on her journey, Seigle acknowledges the profound impact of her postpartum experience. While it nearly broke her, it also revealed “everything about who I am – and what kind of mother I want to be.”
Her ultimate message is a powerful call to action: “We need to start telling the truth about postpartum. Not the airbrushed version, but the real one – the blood clots, the tears, the loneliness, and the quiet courage it takes to get out of bed every day.” By sharing these unfiltered stories, she believes, “we give other parents something to hold onto: hope.”