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- My daughter was 19 when she was hit by a car. I learned too late that I had no medical authority. (businessinsider.com)
A Mother’s Heartbreak and a Powerful Plea: The Unforeseen Consequences of Not Having a Healthcare Proxy
Shawnee Baker’s world was irrevocably altered when her 19-year-old daughter, Baylie Grogan, suffered catastrophic brain injuries after being struck by a car. What followed was a harrowing journey through the medical system, not just of grief, but of profound powerlessness, as Baker discovered she had no legal standing to make critical medical decisions for her own child.
This deeply personal account, shared by Shawnee Baker, a former nurse and now a passionate safety advocate for students, highlights a crucial oversight many young adults and their families face: the absence of a healthcare proxy.
In 2017, just before heading off to college as a pre-med student, 18-year-old Baylie shared a poignant conversation with her mother. “The only thing worse than dying is living in a body that doesn’t work,” Baylie stated, asking her mother to promise she would never allow her to live in such a state. Shawnee, agreeing with the sentiment, made that promise, never imagining how soon she would be forced to fight to keep it.
The following year, Baylie was tragically struck by a car, sustaining devastating brain injuries. Despite being her next of kin, Shawnee and her husband, Scott, found themselves sidelined from critical medical decisions.
Because Baylie was legally an adult at 19, the couple was compelled to defer to the ethics committees of two hospitals. They were denied access to her medical records and the ability to make choices about her care, even though they knew Baylie would have vehemently opposed a life of incapacitation, pain, and isolation.
A Life Full of Promise Interrupted
Baylie was described as a happy, considerate, and responsible young woman, academically gifted with dreams of becoming a doctor. Her empathy extended to animals, particularly her horse, with whom she spent countless hours. In August 2018, after a summer spent studying and working, Baylie returned to the University of Miami for her sophomore year, a university chosen partly for its renowned equestrian program.
Just days after a tearful goodbye with her three-months-pregnant mother, Shawnee received the devastating call from the Miami-Dade police: “There’s been a terrible accident. Baylie is alive, but you need to come to Miami immediately.”
Upon arrival, Shawnee, a former ER nurse, was confronted with a sight she described as the worst she had ever witnessed. Baylie’s face was bruised and bandaged, her body swollen, and she was on a ventilator with tubes emerging from her head after brain surgery. Police revealed Baylie had been struck by a car while crossing I-95 on foot in the early hours of the morning, having become separated from friends.
Initial hopes quickly faded as Baylie’s brain activity was barely detectable, and her pupils were unresponsive – grim signs of irreversible brain damage. A transfer to a Boston hospital closer to home confirmed a Duret hemorrhage, a bleed almost certainly signaling full incapacitation. The agonizing reality set in: if Baylie survived, it would be in a persistent vegetative state, precisely the scenario her mother had promised to prevent.
Legal Obstacles and Prolonged Suffering
The Bakers immediately faced legal hurdles. They lacked the right to request a toxicology report, and Baylie had not completed an advance directive, healthcare proxy, or HIPAA waiver, documents available to adults 18 and over.
Obtaining guardianship through the courts was a lengthy process they didn’t have. Without a healthcare proxy or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order, Baylie was repeatedly resuscitated by default, prolonging her suffering.
The ethics committees, composed of strangers, were tasked with judging whether Baylie’s quality of life justified being taken off life support. They interviewed ten people who knew Baylie well, and everyone agreed she would not want to endure such conditions.
After a period of agonizing back-and-forth, the committee finally agreed to move Baylie to palliative care. She died peacefully on September 27, 2018, allowing her mother to finally keep her promise.
A Legacy of Advocacy
In the years since Baylie’s death, Shawnee Baker has channeled her grief into action. She and her husband founded Baylie’s Wish Foundation, an organization dedicated to preventing other families from experiencing similar heartache.
The foundation advises students and young adults to complete essential documents like healthcare proxies and HIPAA waivers, ensuring their loved ones can honor their wishes in the event of a medical crisis. The foundation provides free downloadable forms for each state and advocates for colleges to include these documents in incoming student paperwork.
Shawnee Baker now has two younger daughters, Savannah and Seraphina, who have brought joy and laughter back into her life. Yet, Baylie’s memory remains a powerful driving force. Through Baylie’s Wish Foundation, Shawnee is fulfilling Baylie’s innate desire to help others, ensuring her daughter’s legacy continues to make a profound difference.