To the Residents of Morbid Meadows,
Greetings, neighbors! We at the Morbid Meadows Home Owners Association, or MMHOA, on occasion reluctantly bring you up to speed on what’s happening in our happy neighborhood and what your MMHOA is doing to make it safe, secure and almost livable. First, please take down your Christmas lights and decorations, especially those among us who never took them down last year. Rudolph’s nose was shot off by a Roman Candle on the last Fourth of July.
Good news! The neighborhood homeless shelters are being upgraded to caves. Also, the Army Corps of Engineers has lifted our designation as a Flood-Prone Zone Every 10 Years, and has re- designated Morbid Meadows as Underwater in a Heavy Dew. Our flood insurance rates should reflect this change as soon as we dry out from Hurricane Harvey. Incidentally, those blue tarps need to be replaced or at least patched. There have been some – actually scores – questions about our garbage pickup. We have rejected the city’s proposal of pickups every other March and your board is negotiating with Baggage-4-Garbage though there are still a few minor details to work out. Some members of the board wonder why our trash has to be separated into plastic bags, non-plastic bags, paper bags, wet leftovers, dry leftovers, other bins for colored or white paper and disposable diapers, wet and dry. That makes 14 separate bins plus another for body parts…