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- I moved away from my family in my 30s. When I called crying, my dad dropped everything and came to see me. (businessinsider.com)
A Daughter’s Dilemma: The Unexpected Toll of Moving Away from “The Village”
Los Angeles, CA – For 39-year-old Creative Director Ruth Davis, a 2019 career opportunity meant relocating her family two hours away to Los Angeles. While the move brought new opportunities for her nuclear family, it also brought an unforeseen emotional cost: the distance from her beloved father and the close-knit family “village” she had always known.
Davis, who grew up surrounded by extended family within a 15-minute radius, quickly realized the profound impact of leaving her support system. “I didn’t fully understand the impact it would have on me,” she admitted in a recent interview.
Her father, who raised her as a single parent, had been her constant rock, even moving in with her to help raise her daughter. “He was there to help with all the practical aspects of raising a child.
But he was also just there as emotional support for me. He made me complete,” Davis shared.
After the move, their visits dwindled to once a month, leaving Davis feeling overwhelmed and incomplete.
The emotional weight came to a head in August 2025. Grieving the loss of two family members and struggling with the demands of everyday life, Davis found herself unable to get out of bed, snapping at her daughter. Feeling like a failure compared to her resilient father, she called him, breaking down in tears.
“Everything is going to be OK,” her father reassured her, a man not known for his words. Shortly after, he called back, having already purchased a train ticket to visit her the very next day.
This selfless act was a double-edged sword for Davis. While she felt incredibly fortunate, it also highlighted her own struggles.
“I also felt self-doubt because my elderly dad could get it together, but I couldn’t,” she recounted.
The knowledge of her father’s impending arrival brought an immediate sense of peace. “My dad was coming. With him, life feels normal and complete,” she reflected.
Despite the positive changes the move brought to her career and immediate family, Davis now questions her decision. “Had I known not seeing my dad every day would wreck me as it has, I don’t know if I would have done it the same way,” she stated. She regrets buying into the “modern idea that decisions should always be made with the nuclear family in mind,” realizing the profound emotional value of her extended family.
Looking to the future, Davis said she would not advise her own daughter to move away from her “village,” even for a partner. “I think as a mother, I did her a disservice by moving her away from my family, her tight-knit community.”