Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Gov. Gavin Newsom has unveiled a major slate of criminal justice reforms aimed at tackling “unjust prison sentences” resulting from the state’s so-called Three Strike Law, which mandates that an offender’s third felony conviction carries a sentence of 25 years to life, regardless of the crime.
The proposed alternative, known as the “Three Strikes, Four Balls Law,” adds the caveat that after four not guilty verdicts, a defendant is exempt from prosecution for one future felony that they are arrested for, an act dubbed as “a walk” in the DA’s office…