Additional Coverage:
- I’m 27, don’t own a house, have no kids, and am not married. My parents had all that by my age, so I don’t feel like an adult. (businessinsider.com)
Feeling Behind? This Millennial Says Adulthood Isn’t a Race
**Are you in your late 20s and feeling like you haven’t hit those traditional “adult” milestones? You’re not alone.
One local 27-year-old shares his experience of measuring his life against his parents’ timeline and realizing that times, and expectations, have changed. **
When Adam England’s parents were 25, they were married, owned a home, and had him. Now, as Adam approaches 27, he finds himself without kids, a spouse, or a house – a stark contrast that often leaves him questioning if he’s truly a “real adult.”
“I often feel like I’m not a real adult,” England admits, noting that his parents tied the knot at 21, while he was navigating a pandemic-era bachelor’s degree at that age. By 25, instead of a baby, he was moving in with his girlfriend and becoming a “cat parent.” The monthly rent payments, he says, are a constant reminder of this perceived “falling behind.”
However, England is quick to point out that this feeling isn’t unique to him. Many in his generation are finding that the traditional markers of adulthood – like homeownership – are far less attainable than they were for previous generations.
“Income hasn’t risen to keep pace with rising housing prices. Becoming a homeowner in your 20s is simply not realistic anymore,” he explains.
Even the idea of having children is something he’s pushing into his 30s.
Despite having a master’s degree, a stable freelance career, and a healthy lifestyle alongside his long-term partner and their feline companions, England confesses, “It feels like I’m winging it most days.” He’s moved multiple times for education and career, a path vastly different from the more settled lives of his parents at the same age.
Yet, there are moments of adulting triumph – discussing personal finance with friends or getting genuinely excited about a new air fryer. And as his dad often reminds him, England has accumulated more life experience, lived in multiple cities, and traveled more than his parents had by his age.
“My life is richer in ways that aren’t necessarily measured by the traditional life plan,” England reflects. He recalls a recent trip to Bratislava with his girlfriend, enjoying mulled wine on the Danube – an experience far removed from his parents’ life with a one-year-old at the same age.
Ultimately, England has come to embrace his unique journey. “Neither version of your 20s is the objectively correct way to do it,” he concludes.
“I’m not falling behind or failing at adulthood. I’m simply doing it differently.”