Dear Abby: I am 67, and my husband is 68. For the past six years, we have been caring for aging parents. My father-in-law, who had Alzheimer’s, passed away a few years ago. We went through a lot with him as his illness progressed. My mother-in-law is 87 and does not want to go into a nursing home. She still lives by herself, but my sister-in-law and I take turns cooking and bringing her food, and my husband works his tail off cutting the grass and doing maintenance and repairs she can no longer do. Although we are retired, our lives revolve around her needs.
I recently had a conversation with my daughter, my only child. She has three sets of parents — us, my ex and his wife and her husband’s parents. She said she loves us, but she doesn’t want to take care of any of us. When she retires, she wants to enjoy her retirement, travel and not have to worry about caring for anybody.
Having gone through it myself, I understand her feelings. Nobody WANTS to do this. At the same time, I’m a little hurt. All that we have — money, cars, house — is set up to go to her after we pass. Now it looks like we may need it to pay for assisted living. Abby, is it normal for kids these days to refuse to help aging parents?…