Dear Abby: I am tormented by an incident that occurred at a time when I did not have the ability to object or present facts to disagree. My father had given me permission to invite my three close college friends for a holiday dinner. My stepmother evidently objected to it.
A week before the dinner, my stepmother’s father began verbally attacking me for inviting my friends, implying that I had been out of line. He said, “Holidays are for family.” I was shocked by his statement because I had been taught from elementary school that people invite others for the holiday to share our gratitude for what we have. This could include those who have no family and are alone for the holiday. After that holiday, my stepmother told me I would never have friends over again for any holiday.
In each of the 25 or so years that have passed, that painful incident comes to mind, and I wish I had had the ability to speak out. What would you suggest should have been the proper answer, at the time, in this case?…