All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.
Madison Mayor Satya Roads-Carway announced the city’s plan to begin construction on all Madison roads perpetually in order to add even more bike lanes at a press conference yesterday afternoon.
“I love the smell of freshly poured asphalt in the morning. Smells like, smells like victory.” Roads-Carway said at a construction site while wearing a U.S. Cavalry-style Stetson hat…