Well, there’s regular rich, and then there’s Lubbock rich.
Lubbock rich doesn’t have anything to do with private jets or yachts. Nobody around here is impressed at all when they see a man in a tux stepping out of a limo. That kind of stuff just isn’t our style.
Around here, wealth is measured in way more specific ways. Practical ways.
Signs You’re Rich in Lubbock
When I was a kid and saw a friend with a fridge totally stocked with name-brand soda, I was convinced they were absolutely loaded. Especially if they even had a full second fridge in the garage dedicated only to soft drinks. Big money, y’all.
Splash Vibes
Another clear sign of wealth in Lubbock is a backyard pool, which especially comes into play in 2026 when the city doesn’t have a single public pool. It’s a great year to cozy up to your rich pals so your kids will have the chance to go swimming without having to pay an ungodly membership fee at the country club.
Bonus points if you have one of those nifty little waterfalls…
Fancy Trucks
The holy grail of West Texas success is a new Tahoe, Yukon, King Ranch, or any other kind of super schmancy truck. I have no idea how you guys keep those things looking so nice, given our ridiculous wind and dirt, but I’ve never owned something nice enough to take to the carwash every day…so I wouldn’t understand.
Other Signs You’re Lubbock Rich
- A garage that actually fits two cars
- Season passes to the Tech games
- A fancy smoker
- A golf cart that isn’t specifically for golf
The biggest flex of them all is having mature trees in your yard. In West Texas, that’s a massive win right there. If your yard has large, healthy trees, we all envy you. You have shade for the evil sun! Not fair.
Our Version of Wealthy Isn’t for Everyone
The funny thing about Lubbock is that everyone understands how luxurious these items are immediately. I don’t think it would make a ton of sense up in New York, and they’d probably shrug most of it off in California. But, a backyard with thick grass, some kind of misting system, and a covered patio with not one, but TWO ceiling fans?…