Editor’s Note: This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
As students begin to come back after enjoying their spring break, Amy Parsons is beginning to head on out. The 16th President of Colorado State University announced that she will be taking three months off from her duties to pursue her lifelong dream of a rap and DJ career, taking on the new name Slim Blondee.
Leaked to Reddit on March 31, Parsons’ double life reveals that she has been posting over the span of 20 years on the musical streaming site SoundCloud under the name of Slim Blondee. Parsons has demonstrated a wide range of musical talent, from partaking in popular diss tracks to performing operatic covers of top 20 hits…