Additional Coverage:
- I’m an only child who was raised by my grandmother. My childhood was lonely, but I’m still choosing to be child-free. (newsbreak.com)
Marissa Higgins credits her upbringing to her grandmother, who became her primary caretainer. Higgins recounts a childhood marked by solitude, despite the deep bond shared with her grandmother. As an adult, she anticipated that solitude might define her life; however, she instead finds herself surrounded by love, choosing not to have children but to build a network of close, chosen family connections.
Raised as an only child in a quiet coastal town in Massachusetts, Higgins spent her youth in the care of her grandmother, appreciating early on the unique situation of living with a grandparent. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of envy towards the familial camaraderie and sibling relationships her peers enjoyed. Limited by her grandmother’s age and physical constraints, Higgins longed for the shared activities that seemed just out of reach.
Despite these challenges, including her struggle with poor eyesight that made her heavily dependent on her grandmother’s proximity for comfort and security, Higgins learned to navigate her world with courage and independence, values instilled in her by her grandmother. Following her grandmother’s passing eight years ago, Higgins embraced the freedom her child-free lifestyle offered, allowing her to travel, form meaningful friendships, and undergo corrective eye surgery, enhancing both her bravery and adventurous spirit.
Now in her thirties and living a fulfilled life with her wife on an island in the Caribbean, Higgins continues to value the depth of connections with friends over the traditional familial structure. With their shared decision to remain child-free, Higgins and her wife pour their energies into nurturing relationships with friends and building a community that transcends biological ties. Their home has become a hub for creating memories, with guests frequently visiting from afar to share in their lives.
Higgins’ journey from childhood loneliness to a richly connected adulthood underscores the importance of chosen family and the realization that companionship need not be defined by traditional familial roles. While once yearning for the family dynamics she observed in others, Higgins has crafted her own version of family, founded on love, friendship, and shared experiences. Through shifting her perspective and building cherished relationships, she has overcome the chronic loneliness of her youth, demonstrating that fulfillment comes from the quality of our connections, rather than societal expectations.