Mom’s Lie About Age Uncovered by 7-Year-Old

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A second-grade family project exposed my secret. My daughter had to interview us and create a poster. When she asked my age, I lied.

I told her I was 43. I was actually 51.

This wasn’t my first age lie. I’d started in my mid-30s, even lying to my husband, who is ten years younger. He caught me, but I continued the charade.

Societal pressures around aging, especially for women, influenced me.

My daughter interviewed my husband, and he knew I’d lied again. My mother-in-law, over video chat the next morning, overheard my daughter’s presentation and revealed the truth.

My daughter was shocked and asked me point-blank if I had lied. I admitted it.

My daughter’s simple statement, “It was a dumb thing to lie about,” resonated with me. Why did I lie? I was older than most parents in our Brooklyn neighborhood, and I worried about embarrassing her.

But those were my insecurities, not hers. I had internalized ageist messages despite knowing they were wrong. By lying, I was teaching my daughter to be ashamed of aging.

Changing my mindset about aging has been a process. I’ve stopped lying, but the internalized ageism still surfaces.

I remind myself that aging is a privilege denied to many. It’s a gift, far better than the alternative.


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