Additional Coverage:
- I’m an American mom who lived in the Netherlands for 4 years. Strangers offered to watch my kids, and I loved it. (businessinsider.com)
After moving from Philadelphia to Maastricht, Netherlands, with her husband and two young children, Marianna Sachse, 45, had a surprising experience. While dining out, a stranger at their communal table offered to hold her newborn so Sachse and her husband could enjoy their meal.
This act of kindness, initially perceived as unusual by Sachse, turned out to be a cultural norm in the Netherlands. She regularly observed adults offering assistance to parents, whether by supervising children or providing parenting tips.
Sachse’s experience with the Dutch “kraamzorg,” or postpartum doula system, further solidified her view of the community-centered approach to childcare. For a minimal cost, doulas provided in-home care for both mother and baby, even assisting with household chores.
The collective parenting style extended to public spaces. Restaurants often featured designated play areas for children, reducing the need for screens and allowing parents to relax. Adults readily offered advice and even intervened when children misbehaved, fostering a sense of shared responsibility.
Sachse appreciated the sense of community and support she experienced in the Netherlands, contrasting it with the more individualistic parenting style common in the US. She found that this collective approach fostered independence in children and allowed parents to feel more relaxed. While she eventually returned to the US to be closer to family, she carried with her valuable lessons learned from the Dutch parenting model.