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- I had my son when I was 38. My only regret about being an older mom is not having grandparents around. (businessinsider.com)
A Mother’s Reflection: The Joys and a Single Regret of Having a Child Later in Life
This mom always envisioned having children. Life, however, had other plans.
After navigating challenging relationships, she found her perfect partner and married at 35. Eager to start a family, she and her husband faced a series of setbacks, including job losses and a cross-state move.
Finally, at 38, she welcomed her son into the world.
While her path to motherhood wasn’t what she’d initially pictured, she wouldn’t trade it. She admits she sometimes wonders what it would have been like to have children younger, perhaps with more energy to keep up and the ability to have a larger family.
Coming from a big family herself, she had always imagined having more than one child. Despite fertility treatments, their family remained a trio.
Years later, she discovered she had been in perimenopause during their attempts to conceive, a condition that went undiagnosed due to the fertility treatments masking the symptoms. While initially heartbroken, she now embraces her close bond with her son, recognizing the unique advantages of being a mom of an only child.
Being an older mom has its perks. She feels wiser and no longer worries about the pressures of perfection that once consumed her.
She’s traded the Pinterest-perfect ideal for a more relaxed approach to parenting, focusing on conscious parenting and allowing her son the freedom to explore his interests without the burden of over-scheduling or academic pressure. As a college professor, she understands that success isn’t solely defined by prestigious schools or perfect grades.
Amidst the joys of motherhood, she carries one regret: her son won’t have the opportunity to know his grandparents. She cherishes her own memories of time spent with her grandparents and wishes her son could have similar experiences. With her mother-in-law and mother passed, her father-in-law absent, and her own father battling dementia, grandparent figures are absent from their lives.
Despite this, she and her husband are determined to create a fulfilling childhood for their son. Weekends are filled with adventures to zoos, museums, and fairs – experiences she once shared with her own grandparents.
They make holidays special, ensuring their son has a rich and loving upbringing. Though she acknowledges the void left by the absence of grandparents, she remains committed to making the most of their family of three, creating cherished memories along the way.