Additional Coverage:
- People assume twins are close, but my sister and I weren’t. As adults, we lived together for 8 months and became best friends. (businessinsider.com)
From Rivals to BFFs: How a Pandemic Lockdown Finally Brought Me and My Twin Sister Together
It’s funny how people assume twins are automatically best friends, joined at the hip from birth. For my sister and me, that couldn’t have been further from the truth – until we were almost 35.
I’m actually grateful that our parents actively encouraged our individuality. They made sure we had different teachers, even separate high schools, and always supported our unique interests.
Despite their efforts, the “twin thing” followed us everywhere. Birthday party invitations were either for both of us or neither.
If one of us took up a hobby, the other faced a barrage of questions. Constant comparisons from teachers fueled a fierce rivalry between us.
Looking back, I see how the pressure to match each other’s achievements, combined with a touch of sibling jealousy, kept us from truly connecting.
After college, we both landed jobs in Washington, D.C., and decided to become roommates. Surely, living together would bring us closer, right?
Wrong. Our differing personalities and lifestyles clashed, leading to constant bickering.
The unspoken pressure to be joined at the hip only made things worse. After a year of intense arguments, my sister moved to New York City, and I stayed in D.C.
We saw each other occasionally, but the visits felt more obligatory than genuine.
A decade later, I joined my sister in New York City, this time with my husband in tow. We were on friendly terms, but not close.
Then the pandemic hit. Along with our spouses and my sister’s baby son, we escaped to my parents’ home in the North Carolina mountains.
What we thought would be a few weeks turned into eight months of cohabitation.
Suddenly, with nowhere to go and no one else to see, we had no choice but to confront our differences and preconceived notions. There were definitely some dramatic moments, complete with shouting matches and silent treatments.
But amidst the chaos, we discovered how much we actually had in common. By the time we both relocated to Raleigh, North Carolina, we were finally best friends.
It’s bittersweet that it took so long, but I’m incredibly grateful for that forced lockdown. It pushed us to work through our issues and build a genuine connection.
Today, we live minutes apart, text constantly, and see each other multiple times a week. We’re closer than ever, finally fulfilling that “twin best friend” stereotype.
I just wish people had seen us as individuals growing up, two separate sisters, rather than a packaged deal. It might have saved us a few years of sibling rivalry.