Additional Coverage:
- I have a revolving door of college students and young adults staying at my home. Instead of paying rent, they take care of some chores for me. (businessinsider.com)
From Empty Nest to Lively Home: A Widow’s Unconventional Family
A few years ago, my older son asked if his college friend, Mark, could stay with us briefly. Mark’s campus housing had fallen through, and with the semester fast approaching, he was in a bind.
What started as a temporary solution turned into something much more. Mark is still here three years later.
Soon after, another friend of my sons needed a place to stay for the summer. Then came another, a part-time delivery driver who needed a place to crash after long shifts.
Unintentionally, my home has transformed into a bustling hub of young adults. In addition to my two sons, aged 20 and 23, I often have two to four other young men staying with me.
They might be between jobs and homes, or just visiting from out of state. Add in their friends and girlfriends, and weekends can be quite lively.
Poker games, video games, pizza deliveries, and boisterous laughter fill the house. I love it – most of the time.
This unconventional living arrangement arose from a place of grief. After my husband passed away, our large, quiet home felt painfully empty.
The once comforting seclusion now amplified my sons’ grief. My older son suggested having Mark stay with us, saying, “We need somebody else around.”
He was right. Mark’s arrival shifted the house’s energy.
He brought not just his belongings, but a sense of novelty and a new social dynamic. He and my sons share similar interests, and he’s become like a third son.
Every new “tenant” has been a genuine friend of my sons’. Respect for me and the house rules is paramount.
No drugs, asking permission for guests, and cleaning up after themselves are non-negotiable. As a practicing Hindu, I also ask that they refrain from cooking or consuming animal products on religiously significant days.
Basic house rules like short showers and full laundry loads are also expected.
While there are occasional inconveniences – stray sneakers and spaghetti-crusted dishes – the benefits of having these young men in my home far outweigh the challenges. I’ve implemented strategies to manage the chaos, like a “lost and found” box for stray items.
Instead of rent, I ask them to help with chores. We have a group chat to coordinate who’s walking the dog, taking out the trash, or doing yard work.
They’ve also helped with bigger projects: renting carpet cleaning equipment, clearing out my garage, driving me to the airport, moving furniture, and even painting. One guest, who worked part-time in a restaurant, has cooked us several delicious dinners.
These young adults are grateful for a place to stay, whether for a few months or, like Mark, a few years. And I’m grateful for the camaraderie they bring to my sons and the renewed energy they’ve brought to our home. It’s a win-win situation.